Archive for June 2008

Chuck Norris Action Jeans

June 25, 2008

The fine print tells you that these jeans were “developed by Chuck Norris for stunt fighting in action movies. These great looking western style jeans have a unique hidden gusset which allows greater movement without binding or ripping.”

Hum. So thats why I have been ripping all of my jeans doing round-house kicks and lion dancing … I needed a gusset sown into the crotch of my pants. Finally, no more zebra-print Zubaz for me. I need to ask my wife to head over to Jo-Ann Fabrics with me and pick up some denim-looking gussets.

What am I thinking… Chuck Norris has already done all the hard work for us… imagine the science behind those boot cut action jeans!

[hit to my bro mark for this gem]

Speed Stacking is Sweet!

June 23, 2008

I stumbled upon the videos below showing some of the worlds best speed stackers. Something about this “sport” that is mesmerizing! I love the Siamese-style stackers who set the current doubles record in the second video.

The World Sport Stacking Association is a large organization with thousands of stackers! They hold a world championship each year, using (and selling) only official regulated “speed stack” cups. A lunch-table game has turned into a international sport! Wow. From what I can tell it seems like grade school and middle school students are the most hard core stackers. I wonder if their parents or coaches juice them up with Redbull and Skittles.

If I start lobbying now, maybe I can help make Sport Stacking part of the Olympics in 2016 in Chicago…

Tired of Being Tired?

June 13, 2008

I tend to blog more about lighthearted, not-so-personal issues… but I am making an exception with the hope that I might be a help.

Since my mid-twenties I have struggled with some severe anxiety issues. I was diagnosed with GAD – generalized anxiety disorder, and I was having panic attacks weekly with a constant sense of fear and worry. It was scary. I was afraid to travel and afraid to eat out for fear I would get sick. I spent several years working with a counselor, and that has helped me tremendously. I worry much less than I used to, and my panic attacks are all but gone. I got to root of much of my fear, and was empowered by understanding more about what was happening in my mind and body. I found out I was not crazy or alone in my struggle.

But it seems that my mind still has not been able to connect with my body on this issue. I am still “wired” most of the time, and have a hard time sitting still and focusing. My body does not want to go to sleep at night or get out of bed in the morning.

I ride a roller coaster of having lots of energy some moments and huge waves of fatigue most of the time. The fatigue is the worst, as it can be severe and debilitating. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest and a cloud has fogged my brain.

I continue to try all kinds of things to try and ward off the fatigue… I have altered my diet radically… I mostly eat organic fruits, vegetables and meats. I am now trying to eliminate processed sugars and eat less wheat. I exercise regularly. I have also tried (and still trying) anxiety meds. They do help – I sleep better – but they seem to make me more fatigued, less focused, and mess up my metabolism (I gained a bunch of weight for no apparent reason. It sucks.) Now, I am exploring different herbal supplements that can help. I also want to check into some relaxation and stress management techniques.

Last year I went to an integrated medicine specialist to try and make some sense of this fatigue. I went through some very expensive testing and was diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome. The doctor told me that I was overproducing cortisol, and that my adrenal glands were worn out, making me tired all the time. The symptoms definitely fit, but the doctor wanted to put me on a steroid to help balance me out… after some research, I declined. I am really trying to exhaust natural remedies before putting more meds in my body (especially ones that will make me swell up or gain more weight!) I am also finding that non-traditional medical routes are very expensive… so this slows the process as I try to “pay as I go”. Not good for someone who lacks patience!

I am not trying to be a complainer… I have a good life… and a great family. I love life, and I have so much to be grateful for. But I am often robbed of the energy needed to be able to live in the moment.

Why do I share all of this with you?
Not for you to feel bad for me. Really. Two reasons…

1. This is part of my healing. Talking about my struggle helps me to feel connected to others and not so alone. It helps me to remember where I’ve been. I see that I am being proactive and don’t get as discouraged.

2. I hope it is part of someone elses healing… maybe it is you.. and it will help you to not feel alone and less frusterated with your battle against anxiety and fatigue. Maybe it will start a dialog where we can help and encourage one another.

Did the Bulls Hire the Coach from Teen Wolf??

June 11, 2008

The Bulls hired former Spur guard Vinny Del Negro as their head coach this week… and I shuttered. I am trying to remain optimistic… the Bulls still have the top pick in the draft. That is enough for me to keep watching for sure. But Del Negro?? Really? I listened to a press conference with him today and he seemed completely clueless.

His perfect mane of hair and his overly simple answers caused me to have flashbacks to the coach in Teen Wolf… the incomparable Bobby Finstock, played by Paul Sand.

Coach Finstock says, “There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.”

All of his lines from the movie are stellar. Now Del Negro can carry on his legacy…

Why Monkey’s on Parade?

June 3, 2008

I just updated the about section of this blog… and here is how I explain the title:

I am not sure when my fascination with monkeys began… probably the time one of the playful primates jumped into the stroller that my twin brother and I were in at the Milwaukee Zoo! No harm done, just a good laugh and a great story for my parents to tell! As many twins do, my brother and I developed our own special vocabulary as we learned to speak… our word for monkey was “mi-you.”

I have never owned a monkey, but my toddler son exhibits fearless and superior – freakish – climbing ability, so that is close enough. He also loves bananas almost as much as I do! So what’s with the name of the blog?

It may sound whimsical, sarcastic, odd, dumb, or child-like to you… let me assure you, it will be all of those things, just like me. Sometimes I feel like a monkey in a parade… chided and jeered by this world as I march to it’s twisted drum… but at times I love this march, banging away on a tiny cymbal as my friends in line laugh with me, cranking on their organ grinders and tooting on their kazoos.

All I am really looking for is a place to start conversations with old and new friends! I hope you join in the parade!

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