Archive for the ‘sports’ category

Chuck Norris Action Jeans

June 25, 2008

The fine print tells you that these jeans were “developed by Chuck Norris for stunt fighting in action movies. These great looking western style jeans have a unique hidden gusset which allows greater movement without binding or ripping.”

Hum. So thats why I have been ripping all of my jeans doing round-house kicks and lion dancing … I needed a gusset sown into the crotch of my pants. Finally, no more zebra-print Zubaz for me. I need to ask my wife to head over to Jo-Ann Fabrics with me and pick up some denim-looking gussets.

What am I thinking… Chuck Norris has already done all the hard work for us… imagine the science behind those boot cut action jeans!

[hit to my bro mark for this gem]

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Speed Stacking is Sweet!

June 23, 2008

I stumbled upon the videos below showing some of the worlds best speed stackers. Something about this “sport” that is mesmerizing! I love the Siamese-style stackers who set the current doubles record in the second video.

The World Sport Stacking Association is a large organization with thousands of stackers! They hold a world championship each year, using (and selling) only official regulated “speed stack” cups. A lunch-table game has turned into a international sport! Wow. From what I can tell it seems like grade school and middle school students are the most hard core stackers. I wonder if their parents or coaches juice them up with Redbull and Skittles.

If I start lobbying now, maybe I can help make Sport Stacking part of the Olympics in 2016 in Chicago…

Did the Bulls Hire the Coach from Teen Wolf??

June 11, 2008

The Bulls hired former Spur guard Vinny Del Negro as their head coach this week… and I shuttered. I am trying to remain optimistic… the Bulls still have the top pick in the draft. That is enough for me to keep watching for sure. But Del Negro?? Really? I listened to a press conference with him today and he seemed completely clueless.

His perfect mane of hair and his overly simple answers caused me to have flashbacks to the coach in Teen Wolf… the incomparable Bobby Finstock, played by Paul Sand.

Coach Finstock says, “There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.”

All of his lines from the movie are stellar. Now Del Negro can carry on his legacy…

Bear’s Eek Out a Win…

October 8, 2007

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Bears beat the Packers in a close one tonight.
All is right with the world… until next Sunday’s game!

I must break you…

August 3, 2007

Picture this… An aging boxing champion returns to the ring to regain his glory. He must defend the honor of his country and tear down the young Russian upstart. Two worlds collide… is east vs. west or man against man?

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No… I am not talking about Apollo Creed vs. Ivan Drago from Rocky IV...
No… this is the real deal. Evander Holyfield will try to take down Sultan Ibragimov on Oct. 13, where else… Moscow. I have affectionately nicknamed the Russian “The Sultan of Swing”. I think he would pummel me if he heard that.

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I just hope that Evander doesn’t get crushed like Apollo did. We may need to send in Rocky to save the day and avenge Evander’s loss.

I can see the training sequence now… a puffy 60-year old Balboa with thick beard and bulging muscles … lifting large timbers fireside with Burt Young balancing on his ankles… then, running through a lush snowy Siberian forest. Ahhh… the stage is set for Rocky 7… Stallone, are you listening? Can we call Survivor to come up with another hit for the soundtrack?

Sweep!

April 30, 2007

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Get your brooms out boys… Shaq Daddy and his crew of tired thugs are done. Now, don’t get me wrong, I got love for D-Wade, but not much for the rest, especially their coach. Needless to say, it brought me great delight to see the overrated Heat get swept by the Bulls. Beautiful.

The party may not last long, though… the Pistons are up next.

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Pippen making a comeback?

February 17, 2007

You think Scottie Pippen would’ve learned from Michael Jordan’s forgettable (second) comeback for the Wiz… but nooooo…
He wants to come back at age 41 to play for a “contender”. Bad idea.

I am not a Scottie hater, I didn’t miss a game during the 90’s. But enough is enough. I won’t be rooting against him, but cringing with the rest of you as he hobbles up and down the court.

I am amused and entertained with trying to connect people with their celebrity look-a-likes… and I have always thought that Humpty Hump could be an alter-ego of Scottie! “This place is extremely draculated…”

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